IT JUST ABOUT UP AND DOWN

Good morning Rinners,

I got sick since Sunday. I got fever and feel so limp. After that, that bad news come. I just didn't know what to do anymore. Felt like everything loose from my hand, my mind. I just laid down and the tears just shed. I was losing my power.

I couldn't sleep. Honestly, it has been nights I don't have a good night sleep. I don't know why, like there's something in my brain just won't stop. But that night, just fell asleep after tired of shedding tears.

Monday, I called out sick, I ain't go to work. Because yes, it is really sick. I got fever, all my body like drain out, and my stomach was like stressed. I went to doctor in the afternoon. He said dehydrated.

Sometimes things can be very funny. When lucky, happiness comes to you, all the positive comes to you too. And when sick, sadness, bad news, everything, it come along with all the negatives too. It feels like everything try to take you down. Maybe you ever feel this way too.

Well, I'm just saying that I don't give up, and not gonna giving it up. I know it hurts, hurts like just wanna disappear from this world. Trust me, I know pains too. But I ain't gonna do that because of that reason. Someday when I leave, I'll leave because I'm going closer to my happiness.

And when I can't do anything but took a rest on my bed, there's an answer for 1 of my many questions pop up in my mind. Why I ever tried to do some stupid things (maybe still coming in my mind sometimes, but rarely) yet I have known that is bad? The answer is because of what I've ever seen when I was a kid. That experience just can not be erased like if you wrote some mistakes on paper. But who should I blamed on? Well, honestly, I don't wanna blame anyone... really.. but they don't know, or never really know why "we" ever tried to do that thing.

Now I have my G in my heart.. and still there for the rest of my life. I believe that this is just about Up and Down. If it doesn't kill me, it just to make me stronger...

I stand on my own,
Khaerin